In the journey of IVF, the concept of “number envy” can become a significant emotional hurdle. This occurs when undergoing fertility treatments that you compare your results to others’, feeling envious or inadequate when your numbers—like egg count, embryo quality, uterine thickness or hormone levels—don’t seem to measure up.
Understanding Number Envy
IVF is laden with numerical benchmarks at every step. From follicle counts during ultrasounds to embryo grades post-retrieval, these numbers can create a hyper-focus on quantitative measures of success. This intense focus often leads to “number envy,” where you consciously or unconsciously compare your IVF outcomes with others and feel a sense of inadequacy if your numbers are lower
Compare and Despair: A Vicious Cycle
The “compare and despair” cycle is closely related to number envy. When you constantly compare your IVF results to others, you may experience despair and a sense of failure. This comparison can be particularly damaging because it perpetuates feelings of insufficiency, loneliness and hopelessness, making the already challenging IVF process even more difficult
Emotional Impact
The impact of number envy and the compare and despair cycle on mental health is profound. It can amplify feelings of self-blame, anxiety, and depression. When faced with suboptimal numbers, it’s easy to internalize feelings of failure, exacerbating the emotional toll of the IVF process.
Strategies to Combat Number Envy and Compare and Despair
Assisted reproduction is one of the most vulnerable processes anyone can choose to undergo. It takes a lot of endurance and self-regulation to manage the fertility journey. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
