How to stop criticizing yourself-easier said than done, right? In your mind chatter, do you sometimes hear repeatedly harsh, critical words?
Maybe they sound something like some of these:
I’m not good enough.
I don’t deserve it.
I’m not worthy.
I’m not ________________enough (fill in the blank with: “skinny” “young” “tall” “old” “pretty” “smart” “rich” “tall” “short” “strong” or some other adjective of your choice).
Repeated criticism gets lodged in your mind and body. It plagues you day-in and day-out, whether or not these things you tell yourself are true (by the way – they usually aren’t!).
Our brains are like Google searches – they already seem to know what we’re searching for with minimal input – if we’ve been there before. The more you repeat a behavior, skill or thought, your brain learns it so well, that the neurons strengthen and you get “better” at repeating that pattern with minimal effort. It is said that “neurons that fire together, wire together.”
So, by continuing to tell yourself the same stories, the better you get at making yourself feel smaller, “less than” and fearful of owning the beautiful and unique human that you are.
And…
By allowing this cycle to continue, with little consciousness and effort to change it, you keep yourself from living a full, fulfilling, joyful life.
Consider these facts:
Steps to breaking the cycle:
The steps below are designed to help you begin to break the cycle of self-deprecation and self-defeat. They need to be put into practice each time you catch yourself in a self-critical story in order to work. Remember, your self-critical narratives have been inside you for many years, thus they live deep in your cells and can only be reversed with repetitive, committed action.
Important note: Be gentle, be compassionate. Would you ever speak to a loved one the way you speak to yourself? We all have patterns that are hard to break. We all have stories – some that move us forward and some that hold us back. It’s ok to be right where you are… working through your not-so-healthy-personal-stories to create new and healthy narratives to guide you through your life. Beating yourself up for having the self-deprecating stories only compounds the pain and wires those neurons together more tightly. I can’t say this one enough, be gentle with yourself.
This exercise is very helpful in beginning to break the patterns and gain some self-awareness about it’s origins. However, sometimes deeper work is needed to go to the source of the pain with a professional and work through it. If that’s something you think you might benefit from, check out: www.MindBodyWise.com and feel free to contact me for a consultation.
P.S. If you haven’t yet, be sure to take the free 10-question MindBody IQ Quiz to become more in-tune with your mind-body connection for self-awareness and healing.
P.P.S. To continue this conversation and others like it, join other like-spirited people just like you in the private, free Facebook group: the MindBodyWise Living Room. It’s a safe space of support and introspection.
