An anecdote:
I was recently faced with deciding between 3 fantastic opportunities. They all happened to fall on the same weekend. Although I recognized that this was, in the scheme of life, not anywhere close to the most important choice I’d have to make, it still challenged my decision-making skills. It still pulled me in different directions. And with this, I love the lessons that I learned.
When I realized that I would have to choose between these 3 options, I heard my mind say: “Oh no! I wish this wasn’t happening!” I had a feeling of overwhelm that churned in my gut.
Next, I noticed resistance that felt like a surge of nervous energy running through my legs and there was noticeable tension in my stomach. The resistance had a lot to say: “Why do they all have to be happening at the same time?! No matter which I pick, I’ll miss out on the others! It’s impossible to measure which one is best for me right now.”
I felt the reverberation of internal chaos as thoughts, feelings and sensations were on high blast. I called two wise friends and my business coach to get guidance. They were helpful at shedding some light on the practical and the emotional angles of the dilemma, but still I felt rumblings of indecision.
I wanted to listen to my body, but my body was so overwhelmed — it was just as flooded and chaotic as my mind.
When I become aware of this “flooding” sensation, I knew to go to my tools: deep breaths, yoga, and meditation. These body-mind, self-care practices helped me clear the chaos of my mind and my body. That space helped me to realize that I had a little bit of time (not much) before making a final decision and that the pressure I was putting on this, was my own.
I paused. I sat with and moved with:
I witnessed myself in ways that felt uncomfortable. I breathed.
After learning more details about each of the 3 events and sitting with/moving with all the “stuff” that showed up inside me, I had several realizations, reminders and aha’s that I hope you, too, will find helpful in making sound decisions. Although my example was a “first-world” decision, I believe these realizations hold true in most decision-making processes.
6. Pausing to Go. By pausing, giving myself a little bit of time and space, and using the tools that I know work for me, gave me just what I need to make a decision that felt aligned with who I am. It’s temping, when in the discomfort of uncertainty, to want it resolved NOW. But, taking that extra bit of time (even a simple breath or two) can make all the difference. Rushing forward with decisions is rarely necessary.
7. Self-induced Pressure. I made my decision-making process much more complicated and unnecessarily stressful by putting an artificial time limit on it. Notice where you are adding unnecessary pressures or unimportant factors to your process and let them go.
8. It’s an Inside Job. No matter how wise, others can’t make your decisions for you. They can shed light, help give perspective, point out things you missed, and be a nice support during your process… but in the end, it’s up to you…and how fortunate is that (see #4)?!
9. Good decisions don’t always feel good. It doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision if you don’t feel a sigh of relief when you’ve made your final decision. Sometimes, choices are tough and they create change in your life. Change is scary (even when it’s for the good). Hang in and breathe through it and trust that once you’ve made your choice, the new road you’re travelling on is just where you need to be.
What are you biggest learnings from making both challenging and not-so-challenging decisions?
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